How I Survive a Three-nager
Life with a feisty three-year-old and a 3-month-old baby is a beautiful blend of chaos and joy. My daughter, with her boundless energy, is constantly singing, dancing, and demanding attention. Her little feet are always moving, and her voice fills the house with tunes from her favorite shows or just made-up songs. She is currently into Frozen, Sing, and Trolls. But as vibrant and spirited as she is, she also knows how to push my buttons when things get overwhelming.
When you're raising both a toddler and a newborn, it can feel like a juggling act. The key is flexibility and patience. Here’s what’s been helping me maintain a semblance of balance:
1. Incorporate the toddler in baby care: Letting my three-year-old help with simple tasks like grabbing diapers, getting the baby’s bottle, or picking out an outfit gives her a sense of importance and inclusion. Toddlers crave attention and involvement, and having her help me care for her brother makes her feel like a big helper, not just a sibling. This helps reduce jealousy and can even make her feel proud. However, I keep expectations realistic—sometimes her “help” may mean a little extra mess or a slightly wriggling baby, but the moment is worth it.
2. Schedule one-on-one time: Between feeding, diaper changes, and naps, it's easy for my toddler to feel overlooked. I’ve learned that even 10-15 minutes of undivided attention can make a world of difference. Whether it’s dancing with her to her favorite song, sitting down for a short story, or simply playing pretend, those moments help her feel valued. I also try to be intentional about when I choose to give her this time—during the baby’s nap or when the baby is content playing in his bouncer—so it’s quality time for both of us.
3. Embrace the mess: With both a toddler and a newborn, some days are simply chaotic. My house might be messy, and I might be running on little sleep, but I’ve learned to stop stressing about it. The laundry may pile up, and toys may clutter the living room, but what matters most is the time spent together. If I’m always focused on tidying up or trying to maintain perfection, I’ll miss out on precious moments with my kids. It’s a hard balance, but sometimes letting the mess slide is just what’s needed to enjoy the fun of the day.
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4. Create a routine with flexibility: While toddlers thrive on routine, life with a baby can be unpredictable. Having a flexible daily rhythm has been a lifesaver. I’ve found that even if things don’t go according to plan, having a structure for the day (like meal times, nap times, and playtime) helps everyone stay on track. But I also give myself grace if the routine needs to change—whether it’s because the baby is fussy or the toddler wants to keep dancing well past nap time.
Conclusion: Above all, trust your instincts. Every day may not go smoothly, but in these fleeting moments, there’s so much love, laughter, and growth happening. Being a parent to both a toddler and a newborn is a whirlwind of emotions—there will be moments of frustration, but there will also be moments of pure joy. I’ve learned to embrace the mess, the noise, and the chaos. The days may be long, but the years are short, and I wouldn’t trade these precious times for anything. The most important thing is to enjoy the journey, trust your heart, and know that you're doing your best.
Always Supporting,
Avery
